my vacation was over on wednesday and i left baghdad at that day. the trip wasn't tiring and lack the road divertion or offroad driving but many checkpoints were along the way. we faced 2 or 3 american troops but the delay was few minutes , we were lucky.
i came alone to mosul and it's too dangerous to live in my home because when the national guards or the american soldiers find a young man living alone he'll be considered as a terrorist and will be detained.
when i reached to mosul i phoned my father and he told me to keep with my friends at the hospital residency but i went home at first, had some rest and met some neighbours who were afraid and hesitated to talk about the situation and they didnt give me a clear answer . an hour passed, i went to hospital. honestly , i like to be with my friends instead of living lonely but at the same time i feel restless and can't sleep or eat well. i can face all this but not be humiliated or detained and im trying to make it as a visit to mosul. i can hold it no more, there is a big gap between baghdad and mosul, the way the people live differs, in addition and above all that my family is in baghdad living in a pain to see their son alone in mosul and in this bad situation of the city especially my mom who is complaining of hypertension. in my last visit to baghdad 1 month ago my brothers told me that she was in a very deteriorated health state, her blood presure was very high even they took her to the emergency at 5 a.m , the cardiologists caused it to her psychological state. now i feel guilty because every time she rings me a phone , she cries and in spite of her trials to hide that sometimes but her voice tone declares the deep pain. i wish i'm not borned yet to cause all this and i'm standing helpless. i wouldn't leave baghdad if i wasnt obliged, the whole capital was passing in a state of devastation and chaos and was very terrible but i say "may god forgive the causatives".
in my first day at work after vacation, i met my friends whom i missed and new rotator dentists were there, 3 of them were studying in baghdad at the same college of mine. the patients and dentists were in every yard of the dental centre. the manager said "find you a place to work in any department". at that day , i enjoyed my time we laughed and the smile was drawed on every face, that relieved me so much after a hard night that even headache realief didnt effect. i hoped that those moments would last forever and to see that smile on all the faces i meet. by night we were laughing and chatting and the sleeping song was 3 blasts and some shooting. this day , friday, the alarm tone was a horrible sound of explosion that woke us up and we were looking at each other to check if some one was injuerd or the glass of the window was crashed. thanks god it was only a shocking sound. some said that the explosion was in police station, but the hospital received many injured people as my friends said. may peace bond our lives and god keep innocents away from terrorists.
