Sunday, December 21, 2008

Iraq Has a Chronic Illness

everytime i tried to challenge the deterioration, i was disappointed.on saturday the first patient came and her tooth was indicated for extraction,i gave her aneasthesia but the forceps and instruments were not sterilized. i stood gazing at the instuments and was very angry.there was no electricity,nor the generator,so i had to dismiss the patient and apologize for a fault that wasnt mine.
i talked to one of the employees and asked him about the generator he said "the generator is ok,and was working,the fuel is available but the battery needs to be changed". for god's sake,its been a month since i started my work and we have a 150 amp. generator with fuel not working because of a battery and we need it for sterilization,illumination,air conditioners and and and.i didnt mention other dental services because we dont offer any except extraction.
the manager deputy came and i explained what happened. he said we demanded a battery.
i felt disappointed.patiens came and i'm helpless.at that day all the patients were dismissed,some took medications.
today at work i heard that the off days were changed and the whole schedule.i was astonished,i asked my colleagues,they said "yes last week,and today is supposed to be your off" i replied "why you didnt say?". i dont know why they didnt came to agree for which day,moreover i came early today and no one told me its my off until i asked them.
on friday i decided to go on a trip for a few days,i realize now its the best time for a trip.
i need to change the routine at least for few days.
my vacation will start on tuesday,then after going back i will visit mosul.
i was about to forget to tell you that my sister came and said that many college students of engineering in al-mustansiriyah came at morning this day to the head of the university and the students union demanding to protest against the action of some military forces that entered the college and hit and drag many students, the dean was beaten and humiliated by the soldiers at the college centre. my sister wasnt sure of those informations that was loudly declard by the shouting students and they were very angry.it seems that not only the dean of the medicine college of mosul included,but in a different way.
i'm praying to end this mess.its not a life,it's just like a zoo.
from time to time i was trying to forget similar events and think of a better future but how it comes to be a good future with such events.it's been 5 years after war,and previously lived in a blockade and war after war since i was born during eightys.
i feel that im losing my time.instead of being creative and make progress, we are spending our time and efforts on living only and how to save ourselves.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

BBB:Baghdad,Bomb and Bush.

Hi,
In the last few days I witnessed many events. first after eid i went to the health centre and found only 2 colleagues there.the health office decided before eid to lessen the numbr of dentists.so they included the last six dentists according to time of starting work at the centre. i was supposed to be the first name but since im not completely registered in the office i will be kept working at the same place,until now im taking my salary from mosul.
we bought gloves from a pharmacy for extracting teeth since we are not supplied with,yet.
a photo of the dental clinic:


Today i was about to lose my mind. as usual i was going to work but on the highway there was a horrible traffic jam and the cars were stopped. there was a road side bomb and the road wa closed so we follow the old way to abu ghreib that passes near the military base of almuthanna. its a narrow way with many obstacles and checkpoints. again the cars were crowded there and some drove on the sides,the american vehicles were outside the road and the dust and chaos all over the place.two funerals were waiting to pass.i was so angry. why we are suffering everyday? i couldnt reach work until 10:30 and i was considered lucky because many employees couldnt make it.
before eid i sterilized all the dental instruments as we had electricity that day but now we are freezing because we dont have electricity and im planning to fix the dental chairs,im feeling helpless and guilty toward the patients that we are not offering them but extraction.
the second event was what Muntather did during the last press conference with the almaliki and bush.anyhow i will not mention what happened but ive seen that almost 98% are with alzeidi including me.if bush said he was just to show him self i see that "if" he wa showing himself "and im sure he wasnt" i reply and all iraqis are saying that he expresses our feelings toward bush,people were/are happy.and why the iraqi government now are trying to accuse him of an attempt of attacking a president, wasnt he expressing his opinion freely? wasnt that the reason behind the whole war? to express our opinions freely in a democratic way. they are annoyed,why???? the iraqis are demanding to relaese him immediately,if there is a true democracy they should follow the public decision and release him,if they are claiming "we are a democtratic free country", they treated him by hiting and pull him from his hair.
some said that will reflect the picture of iraqis and their hospitality, the iraqis are always known by their hospitality and if anyone will come or intend to visit iraq we will welcome him and take care of him but not bush, he is an unwelcomed visitor.
others didnt accept what he did simply because they didnt live or experience by their eyes what happened and is happening in iraq.
now there is a game on the internet called the sock and awe about bush.it accounts points according to how many times you hit bush by the shoe using the mouse.
On monday students of Al-mustansiriyah university gathered at the university centre demanding to release alzeidi,the second day i went there to take some pictures but there was a ceremony of alghadeer occasion and most of them were at the theatre, here the photos:

in this one thay wrote:we are demanding to release muntather.
while in this they praised him for his act.


btw:it was my first time to see the university theatre, i entered trough a door but it was unusual!!,i wanted to exit from the other door and suddenly i saw the stage,i thought "if i will go through this door, i might be on the stage and all attendants may laugh,as in movies!!" haha so i slowly looked behind the curtains and saw the bodyguards of the head of the university stood on the stage, i walked forward,said hello and took the camera from the laptop bag. i began to take plenty of photos and videos.no one was allowed to stood on stage except the singers
.here are some photos:




I intend to visit mosul soon,may be at the end of the month.
B.D

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Eid in Baghdad

Hi,
Eid began on monday.we are celebrating now. the first day we kept in house many guests visited us,friends relative.after every eid prayer the we and neighbours gradulate and visit each other.my brother and sister came with their families.the guests didnt stop flowing until afternoon.at about 6p.m. i went to the wedding party of our neighbour. it was a nice one.every one was dancing and laughing. i saw many boys and girls who grew up. my sister's family stayed,the next day we went to manny neighborhoods in baghdad just hanging over. at night we went to Al-Rubei'y street. i like it because the shops are great and its the only one without concrete barriers on pavements and the people their are more motivated than other where you find trush,concrete barriers,just like chaos!!.there were horrible traffic jams everywhere bcoz of the checkpoints.
we had supper at blue sky restaurant and sat outside on the balcon that you may see the whole street.i took pictures and videos to share them with you.


i cant upload the video right now, video of people were gathered around a DJ as in above pic and dancing.with all these celebrations, they were scared of suicide bombers. i heard some parked their cars in a garage to avoid sticky bombs,and the park owners said to us"we are checking every car because the sticky bombs are increasing these days"
A group of boys came with a horse.they were shouting, a real mess ocurred..one of the government superiors came and the road was closed by his armoured hamvies and men. annoying.thanks god both of the two didnt last long.
today is the third day and we are giong to a wedding party too.Im wishing to go to many places but im limited to few ones,one of the causes are the closed roads,i used to see every destrict in baghdad but now if you pass through a way next week you'll find it closed.without mentioning the ruined ones.
i planned to write the post last night but i was tired and felt asleep.
i will continue later.i have to go now,sorry the post contain many mistakes.

B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D/B.D

At last,i finished uploading the video:




i went to the wedding party and didn't wait till the end.i kept playing with my lovely nephews that night.next day,thursday,i woke up late,had breakfast at about 12!!.guests came and kept for lunch.i decided to go to Al-Karrada afternoon,but my parents adviced me to avoid passing there because from time to time explosions occurred,they were worried so the plan failed.anyhow, i couldn't keep at home and just watch t.v,so i went to many neighborhoods in Alkarkh side of baghdad.
today (friday) another plan cancelled :),i intended to go to Babil hotel swimming pool but my father said that a father of a friend died. so i cancelled it and will go to the funeral with my brothers.
i missed my friends.i have few friend now not exceeding fingers of a single hand.while before war in any street or a quarter in baghdad i had manny friends in. the dentists at work i didn't know them well,not yet.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Floods

Hi,
i began my work in abu ghreib.we are 15 dentists in the health centre.6 males and 9 females. I havent met some of them till now.I met dr "E" she was with me in college.
The dental services limited to extraction only.and extraction is limited to 5 patients in a day.we dont have sufficient anaesthesia necessary for dental treatment. lack the filling materials,the dental chairs "which are two" are not working,one is new but with technical problems without mentioning electricity problem.
yesterday,we bought cotton from a nearby pharmacy to extract teeth.a child was brought by two teachers after a seizure attack at school. the physician tried to find a 5cc syringe and "water for injection" but they were over too. one of the teachers went to a pharmacy by his car to buy for the injection.The health services are miserable, I've noticed that the physicians tried their best with available facilities.After two hours I found myself alone in the dental clinic.some went to the main office,others went to give polio vaccines to the children neighbourhood as a part of a program lasting 5 days.I liked to participate instead of sitting without work but one said that money will be given to participants,so i "pulled my self" to allow others to take part who in need of it.
The city of abu ghreib is safe,the national guards are walking freely,in the previous period they couldnt,the head general of city forces ordered soldiers and policemen to enter unarmed to local shops and any institute.
The civil and army cargo planes are flying above us at low heights since baghdad international airport is neighbouring abu ghreib.
The manucipalty paved the main road of the city last week and painted the pavements but after the rainy days, the spots where the rain gathered among it were the only defects!!!,it was not straight but rippled.
I said spots of gathered water is better than floods of Al-rusafa side of baghdad where in some streets even the cars couldnt pass.TV news showed the road near the Baghdad Mancilaty was sank and the employers couldnt reach the office.

*I'm thinking to stop blogging because i began blogging to share my thoughts and show the picture of baghdad and iraq generally but I havent seen a change took effect after publishing even I feel my thoughts seem not interesting to read.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

STOP VIOLENCE

Last few days were very tough. i was soooo sad. i missed my old friends. i used to see them everyday and had a big number of great guys everywhere.but now no more.most of them went abroad or to other governorates to avoid the violence.i was one of those when i went to mosul. i went last week to abu ghreib and they told me to come on tuesday "will be tomorrow"to start working at my new place.i met one of my friends of college "O" he is working in another centre in abu ghreib too and i will see another one tomorrow,its been along time since we met.i hope i can make frienships with the new colleagues.
my bother was very sick, after medical investigations ,the SONAR revealed a mild spleenomegally,the physician said its not dangerous and he must be on a special diet and caused his abdominal pain to the doudenum. as for my parents im trying to make them happier.
last week as I was talkng to Sunshine on the net about the blog,suddenly she stopped writing, i thought the net was interrupted or off but later she wrote, "a huge explosion occured,i couldnt answer and Mimi is injured unconscious,bye" i was so worried,"what happened? how is everybody?what happened to my dear Mimi,was it a bombed car as usual?" i thought. The mobile network coverage was so bad not so bad but no service in mosul because on wednesday gunmen attacked the bureau of the mobile company "asiacell" in mosul and the services were limited.
After half an hour she answered "the house has ruined up side down,you cant imagine what happened,Mimi had consciousness but she had few scratches ". the news channels didnt announce that explosion at that day.next evening one channel breiefly mentioned it.
for god's sake a tank "cistern" was exploded and no one knew about it? I kept on turning tv to seek for it but they didnt mention that 'as for my knowledge' what a media we got? Sunshine will publish that asap with more details.
i really like to know why they did that huge explosion???????? the innocents were the victims,even the far houses were terriffied of the sound,think about the childs,old seniors,sick people. and who did it? terrorists? then why we hear every day and declared on whole public that iraq is secured and if they replied except mosul then why they didnt act or delayed till now and do their jobs to save innocents??? I lived in mosul and clearly noticed the ignorance of the superiors.Its not a big city like baghdad to face many difficulties to impose their control in addition the people of mosul like to live in peace. i ve seen most of them didnt like to go out at the best times.they just like to work, back home and go in a small trip at the weekend. the city is called "um alrabe'aen" which means "city of two springs"because of its great wheather and "was" nominated as the first city in cleanliness,now its the dirtiest city in iraq. my father was astonished when he saw the roads last month filled and closed by dust,trush and concrete barriers.
Also in baghdad I heard that many road side bombs exploded in many destricts.
i just like to forget and not hear or read explosions,bombs,terrorists,devastation and live in peace.
baghdadentist

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Abu Ghreib

At last,after 19 months in mosul,I moved back to baghdad in 30 octobre. i spent 7months over the rotation period because i couldnt get the agreement to move my job and complete my residency in baghdad. i went out of mosul and i was so depressed,the people of mosul are really great,i knew many friends,im so sad to leave them but i got to go back to my family.
i got a decision from the ministry of health to work in Abu Ghreib.From 4/11 till now im trying to proceed my job but the Health Office of Alkarkh delayed the deicision that clearly declaring agreement and imposing the office and signed by the minister's deputy.however.i had to go several times to the office.they considered me absent for 5 days and im not,icame to the personnel and registered the decision in 4/11.now im thinking seriously to quit my job.many times i had to get into many many arguements with the employees,all they had to do is to follow the decision from the ministry,its not an illegal procedure.are all dentists in the world had to suffer like me? i felt of being humiliated.Also there were many physicians waiting,they left the hospitals and patients and came to the office for similar reasons.
two days ago the mobile network was so bad because many americans vhicles were near home,next morning my great friend mohannad phoned me,he is abroad and i missed him i was so happy.
the situation in baghdad these two days is frustrating,the bridge between adamiyah and kadimiyah reopened'thats great' but before that day three explosions occured in adamiyah at the same place respectively,many explosions occured,alot of them were not declared in media.
i'd like to show you a picture,we all know what is it its a gun

but do you believe it is a plastic toy!!! right,its a toy,when i saw it i thought a real gun.the are selling those toys and many similar ones in every shop in iraq!.many kids playing by it the 'police game'.this is one of the war's achievements,violence culture.where is the innocence of kids?you may imagine the consequences on the child's mind.
Baghdadentist

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Mosul & Christians

Hiiii,I wrote a post but i dint publish it simply I didn’t have the time.i was so busy during Eid which I spent it in Baghdad with my family and I didn’t like to lose a moment away from them. I have a plenty of time to keep with the laptop in mosul. Anyhow; the seurity situation is much better than before in baghdad. People were happy during eid” at the beginning of October”. Many families went out to visit their relatives or to celebrate, went to restaurants and playgrounds,BUT I didn’t feel the same baghdad!!!! Its like a military base,follower of iran not the capital of iraq that was called the capital of peace .i havent seen a road without concrete barriers.the people are not the same,my friends are decreasing in number, many government establishments are sectarianisms!!!





Last week the violence approached to involve the Christians in mosul more than any period. Many were killed by terrorists and idiots for just no reason. their baseless stupid actions cannot be vindicated.
My friend dr.O is a Christian. He is a close friend of mine.a very polite,smart,enthusiastic and helpful guy. He went outside the city of mosul in a small village,left his job and his owns to avoid being killed in a time the hospital is in need for every single physician.
I was so depressed when I saw his room.this moment he phoned me and said that two houses belong to Christians were blown up after the owners were threatened and immigrated from their houses. THAT’S NOT FAIR. . I began to phone my friends “the christians whom I don’t like to call them so”, many went outside the city and some of families were divided into parts as dr. N, her bothers outside and the rest of her family still in mosul, what is the fault they committed????!!!! They asked me to take them a 1 month vacation hoping after this period the wise government act or at least hear the voice of the afflicted Mosul.
Today I was about to go to the net cafĂ© to publish the post but a huge explosion occurred. A car bomb exploded in the neighbourhood near the hospital.the ambulances carried many injured and dead people.the scene was tragic.,people crying ,wifes and sons became widows and orphans in a moment because of a criminal. one of the mothers was crying and screaming “oh god I lost Hasson (her son)” and kept crying in front of the door of the morgue for a long time. i couldn’t eat that night next morning I was depressed.
here are some photos ive taken in the hospital while the national guards and police shooting in a crazy way.




Baghdadentist..

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

referral & torture

Hi
Still as I am. No changes happened in my life but more boring routine life. Yesterday, my parents told me that there was a conflict and shooting near the house between almahdi army militia and couldn’t hear against whom. The mobile network coverage was so bad and I had to phone them on the land line rather than mobiles. as I talked to my father I cried and could hardly keep my voice tone till the end of the call, he said its very hard not to see you between us and we are in pain but we step on our feelings and tolerate just for your own good.
As for the hospital the campus have been moved to a new place, well its not new its another place.we have restricted movements here, we cant go out or walk along the corridor because the female campus at the end of the corridor. now I have to think and check many times before having a shower,its embarrassing since the bathrooms near the entrance.
I felt bored and couldn’t sleep well so I began to play sport games with my colleagues,I began to feel more enthusiastic. But what made me losing that enthusiasm was the referral system. The head manager came and told us to stop diagnosing any patient without a referral from the health centres. The decision was from the ministry. the patients must be treated at the medical centres near their houses and only the complicated cases will be referred to the specialized dental centre. Its not fair, many patients had to pass through many obstacles and checkpoints just to reach the dental centre and nearly all of them cant afford the cost of treatment in private clinics. Moreover, they came as an urgent cases needing immediate management and care.
The decision is right but the ministry ought to oblige the medical centres to treat those patients before following the referral system. Its not the way to help people, on the contrary.
One may say that in all the posts I published only the sadness and complains were the domains. That’s the truth, in my recent times I witnessed many bad things only good friends and the times I spent with them are excluded.

Baghdadentist

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Puzzleheaded

The last few days were difficult to me. I couldn’t think well,my brain stopped and freezed many times,woozy and sometimes couldn’t afford a caper from my friends!!. At night I cant sleep till 3 am and wake up everday at 6:30am, even the nap during the day is so difficult.
I really missed my family and the sweet house environment. My parents and sister went back to iraq on Tuesday, the same day I went to baghdad. I reached at 6pm after 7hours trip from mosul. More checkpoints were along the road.especially from samarra to baghdad where you can see the next checkpoint by your eyes when you are in a checkpoint!!!
At that night I was so happy ,we spent all the time filled of laugh and humour with all my brothers, sisters and neighbours.my nephews kept hugging me.i began to tell the jokes and couldn’t stop.we kept till 2 am.
my father talked about the humiliation they faced at the borders and how they were treated. It was so frustrating to hear that.
im feeling of guilt toward my family, they need me near them especially my parents are old seniors. I’m supposed to take care of them and my brother and sister. Many times they delay to achieve some staff untill I visit them. If I could take them with me just to take care of them and pay back a tenth of what they have done to me.my sisters and brother kept satting beside me all the time, ibought them gifts but I know that will not substitute the warmth and the support that im ought to give,they were talking to me if they faced any obstacle or a problem but no more. I will try to spend every moment to make them glad.
Love your family and friends and Keep smiling.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Mockery in iraq

Hi,i admitted to the higher studies at the university of baghdad, department of laser technologies and plasma institute.the main obstacle was the experience, the condition states 2 years of actual experience and i have got 1 1/2 yrs,anyhow,i admitted a request to the minister for exception and still waiting for the reply.my parents and sister went to saudi arbia for alumra passing through jordan since the airport is exclusively for the governement and the passengers who obliged or dont care for insults.its not fair to call it an airport and equalize it with frankfurt or athena,its better to call it a prison or an american base.i couldnt phone my parents before departure because of the bad coverage of the mobile network only my father phoned me for few seconds outside baghdad.i was so sad and kept that night awaked till 3am,tried to hold up my tears but couldnt and cried for feW moments because of the bad situation we are living and the big frustration i felt at that moment but im so bull headed .. and i will keep up.last friday as i was walking in the hospital some soldiers of the national guards were heading to exit. as they approached me, one of them hold his m16 pointing it on my head just few meters away from me,he was ready to shoot,shouted "stop and dont move". i was so coooool and kept on walking. i didnt know why i didnt stop or panic? they passed near me and i was looking at them with a cold look empty of feelings.the last one then said hello, and they laughed,they were kidding!!!!! what a stupid way.its a hospital,what if one the patients with a heart problem was walking instead of me????!!2 weeks ago an idiot soldier hold his gun and was about to shoot me because he thought me a terrorist as he saw me carrying my laptop bag and entering the shop but the shop owner stopped him and told him that im a dentist.
its a mess.wherever you go.al maliki visited the vatikan and asked the iraqi people to go back to iraq,wherever he went, he asked iraqis to go back to their homes.why dont he make the situation of iraq better and provide the facilities of living at first.who would listen to him now if your national guards are afraid.frankly speaking the people are laughing at him and at the parliament, not only the people but also the americans who made him a toy with his government.
my parents and sister kept at the borders for two days,without a phone call.i got insane.we didnt know where they were,what happened,many thoughts filled my head.at last they phoned my sister in baghdad and told her they passed the borders.
last week explosives were found in the minstry of higher education in baghadad,i cant imagine how they reached the middle of the minstry.its like a military base,concrete barriers all around with one way of entrance and exit passing through 2 personal searches.
in mosul, the sitauation still as it is, no progress just in one thing, they used to close roads by the concrete barriers or bricks only, now they are closing them by 1/2m hhieght of dust and trush!!!.
can you imagine a main hospital without electricity?? you may see that in iraq without imagination.the jamhory hospital in mosul is witnessing that. two days ago,the hospital was completely out of electric power excpet for "some rooms". i saw that. the emergency without power.the hospital was very dark and doctors were lighting the corridors with their mobiles!!!
the patients began to get out of their rooms because of the hot wheather. i wondered what happenned to patients with severe burns or in theatres"operation rooms" or in the I.C.U "Intensive care unit" and this night the police closed the road of the hospital leading to the emergency. tha patients had to walk for a 100 metre.if the case of the pateint allowed him to walk this distance he wouldnt bother him self and crossed all the checkpoints at night.but who listen or think of all those people.may god be with the innocents and guard this country.
baghdad dentist ...
Hi,i admitted to the higher studies at the university of baghdad, department of laser technologies and plasma institute.the main obstacle was the experience, the condition states 2 years of actual experience and i have got 1 1/2 yrs,anyhow,i admitted a request to the minister for exception and still waiting for the reply.my parents and sister went to saudi arbia for alumra passing through jordan since the airport is exclusively for the governement and the passengers who obliged or dont care for insults.its not fair to call it an airport and equalize it with frankfurt or athena,its better to call it a prison or an american base.i couldnt phone my parents before departure because of the bad coverage of the mobile network only my father phoned me for few seconds outside baghdad.i was so sad and kept that night awaked till 3am,tried to hold up my tears but couldnt and cried for feW moments because of the bad situation we are living and the big frustration i felt at that moment but im so ****** and i will keep up.last friday as i was walking in the hospital some soldiers of the national guards were heading to exit. as they approached me, one of them hold his m16 pointing it on my head just few meters away from me,he was ready to shoot,shouted "stop and dont move". i was so coooool and kept on walking. i didnt know why i didnt stop or panic? they passed near me and i was looking at them with a cold look empty of feelings.the last one then said hello, and they laughed,they were kidding!!!!! what a stupid way.its a hospital,what if one the patients with a heart problem was walking instead of me????!!2 weeks ago an idiot soldier hold his gun and was about to shoot me because he thought me a terrorist as he saw me carrying my laptop bag and entering the shop but the shop owner stopped him and told him that im a dentist.
its a mess.wherever you go.al maliki visited the vatikan and asked the iraqi people to go back to iraq,wherever he went, he asked iraqis to go back to their homes.why dont he make the situation of iraq better and provide the facilities of living at first.who would listen to him now if your national guards are afraid.frankly speaking the people are laughing at him and at the parliament, not only the people but also the americans who made him a toy with his government.
my parents and sister kept at the borders for two days,without a phone call.i got insane.we didnt know where they were,what happened,many thoughts filled my head.at last they phoned my sister in baghdad and told her they passed the borders.
last week explosives were found in the minstry of higher education in baghadad,i cant imagine how they reached the middle of the minstry.its like a military base,concrete barriers all around with one way of entrance and exit passing through 2 personal searches.
in mosul, the sitauation still as it is, no progress just in one thing, they used to close roads by the concrete barriers or bricks only, now they are closing them by 1/2m hhieght of dust and trush!!!.
can you imagine a main hospital without electricity?? you may see that in iraq without imagination.the jamhory hospital in mosul is witnessing that. two days ago,the hospital was completely out of electric power excpet for "some rooms". i saw that. the emergency without power.the hospital was very dark and doctors were lighting the corridors with their mobiles!!!
the patients began to get out of their rooms because of the hot wheather. i wondered what happenned to patients with severe burns or in theatres"operation rooms" or in the I.C.U "Intensive care unit" and this night the police closed the road of the hospital leading to the emergency. tha patients had to walk for a 100 metre.if the case of the pateint allowed him to walk this distance he wouldnt bother him self and crossed all the checkpoints at night.but who listen or think of all those people.may god be with the innocents and guard this country.

Friday, June 20, 2008

BACK AGAIN


Its been along time since my last post. many events occured and alot of things have been changed during this period. i intended to go back to baghdad to complete the years of residency,but my request was refused by the ministry of heallth and a new procedure is followed now. all my friends and colleagues went back to their governorates except me. now the new rotators call me the chronic and themselves as the acutes. in the last two months i went in a picnic with my colleagues in the dental centre to the tourists village at that day i met sunshine whom i began to forget her face then i went baghdad for three days only, three days after we went to the north of iraq in a picnic with the gorgeous friends. it was one of my best journeys. aweek later i lived alone since my brother went to baghdad with his family for about a week then the military operation of um-alrabeaen began, iwas stacked at home for three days, no one could get out of his outdoor, at the night before the curfew declared i bought food,vegetables and mobile credit, thanks god.i began to cook food, hamburger,finger chips,fish,rice and sauce. i learned that from my mother, she was kidding with me saying "if it happen and your wife left you alone at home "if you will marry" you will have the ability to cook and be self dependent" and i was laughing.
the operation as i hope will face success because it was sudden with a huge number of forces prepaired targetting specific people inspite of the random arrestments occured at the first weeks. what annoyed me was the curfew that took many days and people began to starve,many residents are working for their living day.even me , i lived alone with a plenty of food but at the last day the refrigerator was empty,the gas was over and and and .... , idont know how the families lived that days!!!!!.
now mosul is much more better than before, im happy to see this and moreover the iraqi forces are taking control over the city.on the other side many roads are closed by concrete barriers and some by trash!!!.i used to hire a taxi , walk for about 100m to hire another one to go to work or back home,all this because of a military base constructed in a vital destrict and closed the main street preventing even the civilians from walking down that road. to overcome all these obstacles i decided and as my friends adviced me to live at the hospital residency. frankly speaking i do like to keep with my friends but the hygiene at that same hospital is bad.they are trying to reconstruct it but its toooo old,it has to be rebuild allover again.after the curfew was over and the checkpoints were opened again, my new friends" the cute acutes" went to their homes, everyone to his own governorate and again except me.i kept alone but there was my dearest friends mama,sunshine,dr s,dr m &h and dr a who kept asking about me, phoned me and sending sms.i felt the family surronding me,im very thankfull especially to mama and her nice family.
after that i went to baghdad for 11 days. the situation there is getting better to the best considering the same days last year.and i hope to see baghdad and iraq the perfect not without electicity im wondeing how the students are studying and examining in the hot wheather without electicity!!!! may god help them,but i believe they will challenge that and succeed,those are the iraqis.our house was searched several times for weapons after launching two rockets and attacking a checkpoint by militias.the national guards and police consructed a military base and a police station in our quarter and concrete barriers of 4 metres height is about to seperate the destrict and isolate it.its not the new democracy nooooo, they are just trying to prevent the dusty winds and help people!!!!!!!!!
my vacation was over and now im in mosul, i missed my friends and my friends who was in baghdad. in my way back there was a problem with the electricity of the car and we stopped in a checkpoint in mosul outside the city centre as the men with me were officers in the army and one of them was a big head in alaqrab combat team, i didnt know that and they didnt declared it only before the officer in charge of the checkpoint. we kept there for two hours waiting for the other car to come because american vhicles closed te road without a reason and many cars were waiting under the hot sun. i know i wrote toooo much but that was a brief of the past months.next posts i will publish some of the photos of the picnics. some of my own with miscellaneous ones.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

I'm in mosul

my vacation was over on wednesday and i left baghdad at that day. the trip wasn't tiring and lack the road divertion or offroad driving but many checkpoints were along the way. we faced 2 or 3 american troops but the delay was few minutes , we were lucky.
i came alone to mosul and it's too dangerous to live in my home because when the national guards or the american soldiers find a young man living alone he'll be considered as a terrorist and will be detained.
when i reached to mosul i phoned my father and he told me to keep with my friends at the hospital residency but i went home at first, had some rest and met some neighbours who were afraid and hesitated to talk about the situation and they didnt give me a clear answer . an hour passed, i went to hospital. honestly , i like to be with my friends instead of living lonely but at the same time i feel restless and can't sleep or eat well. i can face all this but not be humiliated or detained and im trying to make it as a visit to mosul. i can hold it no more, there is a big gap between baghdad and mosul, the way the people live differs, in addition and above all that my family is in baghdad living in a pain to see their son alone in mosul and in this bad situation of the city especially my mom who is complaining of hypertension. in my last visit to baghdad 1 month ago my brothers told me that she was in a very deteriorated health state, her blood presure was very high even they took her to the emergency at 5 a.m , the cardiologists caused it to her psychological state. now i feel guilty because every time she rings me a phone , she cries and in spite of her trials to hide that sometimes but her voice tone declares the deep pain. i wish i'm not borned yet to cause all this and i'm standing helpless. i wouldn't leave baghdad if i wasnt obliged, the whole capital was passing in a state of devastation and chaos and was very terrible but i say "may god forgive the causatives".
in my first day at work after vacation, i met my friends whom i missed and new rotator dentists were there, 3 of them were studying in baghdad at the same college of mine. the patients and dentists were in every yard of the dental centre. the manager said "find you a place to work in any department". at that day , i enjoyed my time we laughed and the smile was drawed on every face, that relieved me so much after a hard night that even headache realief didnt effect. i hoped that those moments would last forever and to see that smile on all the faces i meet. by night we were laughing and chatting and the sleeping song was 3 blasts and some shooting. this day , friday, the alarm tone was a horrible sound of explosion that woke us up and we were looking at each other to check if some one was injuerd or the glass of the window was crashed. thanks god it was only a shocking sound. some said that the explosion was in police station, but the hospital received many injured people as my friends said. may peace bond our lives and god keep innocents away from terrorists.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Baghdad Now

it's my third week in baghdad. my last week was so hard and wearisome. in one single day i had to go to different far places in baghdad and with traffic jams, closed or diverted traffics it's not a strange matter to fuel the car every 2 days. as for baghdad, it's great. now it's on the way to heal and stepping forward in the road of revolution and good future. except for some what i call "defects" here and there, one may say that the city has settled down. the people now feel safe and can go out for shopping, visiting friends and relatives without fear. i feet that the normal life is getting back again. while in febuary last year (like the current days), i just wanted to get out of baghdad because at that time i couldn't get oiut of the outdoor. eveeryday we heard someone or two were murdered in our destrict. no one day passed without a funeral. 3 years before when i was a student, we were going to college and afraid of what the roads were hiding along our way. many female students were afraid of getting kidnapped and many times they accompanied us or gave them a lift. my close friend was about to be killed just because he was the son of an embassador!!!! and from that time we were obliged to carry a gun in the car for protection, the other one received a paper threatening him and i did my best to protect him when we were together just because he lived in Adamiyah!. they were bad days.as for now, we don't have to do any of those.i visited my friends in different dental centres and we went for buying some clothes and spent great hours and fortunately it was only us(the guys) or we were stacked in the markets for hours just on shoe shopping.the national guards checkpoints and outposts are eveywhere in addition to the american soldiers who you may see them walking by your side in the streets.
last week a business exhibition was in baghdad for 3 days called B2B (Baghdad to Baghdad). the exhibitors came from different countries and in different fields ( communications, power supply, trade, transport, security companies...). it was satisfactory but the most annoying was the entrance, one must pass through different kinds of personal searches including canine search and to stop many times for checking IDs. mobiles with camera were not allowed and you have to remove its battery. they were very welcoming but so restricted.
we still have some problems concerning electricity ( well they are big problems). the electricity in baghdad just say "hi" for few minutes twice daily. we have two generators in the house, subscribed to an external power provider and about to buy a big diesel generator next month."all that for electricity"
the goverment who lack experts spent millions of dollars just to provide every family with 10amps of elect. "WHAT A WISE & SMART STEP" 10 amperes for every family?!!!??. that means no A/C at all, can't iron with refrigerators turned on, can't use ovens or microwaves and and .... moreover till now we are not supplied with that 10 amps. where all that money has gone??. can any one of those big heads in the government tolerate to live with 10amps only (i'm not saying without electricity). i'm sure he will suicide.the victims are poor and people with limited salary.and the parliament (who is supposed to represent the iraqi people) spent two weeks of quarrels just to change the falg. is it a big matter to change it? or is iraq is so perfect to spend sessions on secondary subjects and left behind all the basic needs?
is it so hard to provide giant generators??they were saying that"because of the insecured situation and presence of terrorists and saboteurs in baghdad we can't achieve the contracts with big companies" and now what??i hope this will be solved soon.

Friday, February 15, 2008

High Spot

Several times I heard from "mama"(the mother of sunshine) what sunshine did and doing of big achievements beginning from crossing over her obstacles courageously and helping people without hesitation or getting bored , to her education, knowledge and her skills.
One day when I was in the diagnosis department, “mama” came with a teenage girl accompanying her. “is she sunshine?” I thought but I didn’t ask. There were many patients came for diagnosis. As the crowd was over ½ hour later I asked “mama” whispering and pointing to the girl “sunshine?” she answered “yes”. I didn’t expect so because she is a young girl. After talking with her, the personality of sunshine in her blog appeared. One may notice immediately her smartness, capabilities of speech, language and knowledge from her selection of words during speaking with others. She is different from her age mates in wide ambitions and eager to get knowledge even if that may cost her to spend all the credit of her mobile!!.
She really likes net and her computer. I agree with her because I’m addicted to those two. If I’m not using my desktop pc then you’ll see me sleeping with the laptop next to me.
At that day, someone made me mad and I did crazy things. He was one of the national guards came asking for removal of calculus around his teeth, it’s a cleaning of teeth with an ultrasound device. He was listening to the loud music of his mobile and sat on the dental chair with a gun in his hand. He then pointed his gun to all the doctors in the clinic including sunshine. I asked him to move it away but he said that he couldn’t as one of the terrorists might attack him in the clinic!!!. Then he pointed it straight into my face. It was a half metre of my face. Everyone just went out. I closed the door and was in crazy state with a calm looking face. i cut off water of the device and he began to feel some pain with his finger on the trigger. Thanks god I’m alivve now.
As for “mama”, I’m very grateful to her because she encouraged me to write in a blog. You can imagine what kind of a woman who raised up a girl like “sunshine”.
“mama” , “sunshine” you both owe me one.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


Well well wellll. I have many thoughts, pictures and facts I'd like to share you with but I don’t know which one to publish and for the current time I have limited spare time. Now I'm in Baghdad. Sometimes I feel like an egoistic because I left my friends in this critical situation but I have a lot of stuff to be done. I consider this period as the days that will limit my future life and the way I will pass through for my goals.
I went out of mosul and tears flowing on my cheek. Inspite of the sad days and facing terrorists in streets killing people infront of me, I couldn't and will not forget all the marvellous and supporting friends.
For me it's impossible to see my tears even at the hardest times, close friends may notice my reddened eyes but not tears.
The situation in mosul is fluctuating between chaos and calm. Many troops were headed to mosul but "I think" that will not help the people, on the contrary, because the "plan to clean mosul out of terrorists" as was declared , was known by the whole world. In every ceremony and media conference there was that announcement and details about mosul.
I have a little experience but they were ought to follow the sudden and silent plan. So "as I think" this army will find the innocent people only but from the other side order may shine again since the weapons as I hope will be carried by officials only. All I wish is to live in a peaceful environment, neither presence of militias and terrorists nor chaos.
Several days ago I visited the college of dentistry I graduated from. I met the dean and professors who consider me as their son. What surprised me was the news about American forces arresting some of the guards in the college as a result of weapons found in there one day after my visit!!!!.
And now a spokesman of the us army is saying that those weapons were stored to be used later by militias.
Weapons and armors inside an educational institution???!! And in the centre of Baghdad!!?. I don’t know when all this kind of hostile contemplation will turn into passion especially between politicians.
From now on as soon as I have the time, I will keep on writing to publish the truth.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

A DISASTER

it was afternoon.i was writing my new post which was supposed to be about the health care provision.suddenly a huge terrifying sound of blast i heard inspite of the loud music that was out of my headphones.at first i thought it as a bombed car or a road side bomb near us as usual until my boss ringed me a phone to tell me that it was a mile away!!!. i didnt realize the disaster until the next morning in the clinic some of my friends visited the place of explosion to tell us about the destruction left behind. at about 10 they declared a curfew. there were many patients came asking for treatment and complained of pain.
at that day there was only me and a senior dentist treating a patient with a difficult case. i had to choose between getting stacked in the hospital or to treat patients and of course i took the second choice. i would blame my self if i left them without treatment and thought in my self that those patients wouldnt get any professional care until the curfew over especially those patients with badly decayed teeth and needed extraction. so i made extraction for three patients and gave an operation appointment for one. as i finished , i phoned my brother to tell me that our destrict was closed. by that time it was definitly no way to go home.
i kept with my friends at the hospital.i was so sad because of the miserable security situation that we are living. as a relief one of my friends suggested to go to the river shore behind the hospital. it was a marvellous scene. i kept that night trying not to talk about any subject of blasts or war or even politics. next morning i saw some people walking along the empty roads of the city. i changed clothes and went home walking inspite of the curfew. it was about 2 miles away. i ve tried my best to avoid passing along the streets of the explosion site but as soon as i reached to the main street one of the iraqi soldiers prevented me to go along straight ahead and instead i had to take the way along affected
area. it was a DISASTER. even the word disaster doesnt describe the crime happened there. as if a nuclear bomb were thrown there.the trees were 100metre away. the bricks of the buildings were everywhere.the power cables were in pieces allover the place. i couldnt distinguish the houses from each other and from the shops. a cyclon is less less destructive. i stood astonished there. i havent seen like this only when the b52 aircraft bombed one of the buildings during war in baghdad. without any exaggeration 20 houses were severly ruined up and nearly 35 affected. who was that monster who did it? he is the evil himself.the people who live in this area are poor and lovely and they can't harm a creature. one is working and doing his best to build a house and to grow his children up in a life with dignity and in a second all this just vanished so easily.after all i have seen iwent back home and pain was tearing my heart.now its the second day and i cant smile even in the most gagging instances. i couldnt take some pictures to publish but i'll try to get some.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

"Formatting" the mind

this morning while I was getting dressed to go to clinic. I heard knocking of the door of our neighbors. He was a lonely old man with a few relatives living in the other destrict. At his door were his friends..It was early morning and freezing outside. the knocking and calling was so hard and loud. They broke the door to find the man laid down on the ground without any movement. His friends were going to give him a lift to work but they found that he was suffocated by gas and couldn’t make it. They called me to be assure if he was dead or a life. But there was no hope even for a c.p.r. and after realizing the truth I could barely hold the situation up. I was in a state of shock. I just went out and said "he is dead". I couldn’t talk anymore. We phoned the ambulance and took him to the main hospital. But after witnessing the scene I couldn’t eat even lunch and I began to remember all the pictures of the dead people who were killed in the past months and years as a result of violence and crimes and during the war. It took me along time to forget those pictures. Now I'm dizzy and nauseated feeling my head may explode at any moment. I was trying my best to avoid like such situations. During my study at the college I wasn’t afraid of anatomy or corpses and didn’t hesitate in dissection unlike my friends but now I don’t know what happened to me. I just passed to the dental centre and went out with my friend just to relief and get fresh but that didn’t take the effect I tried and im trying my best to hide all this from colleagues and friends through laughing, telling jokes and listening to music but still the same. if I could scream and shout to spill all this out!. All I need for this moment is to clear my mind and brain as formatting it all over again to erase all this up.

Confused

These days im feeling so confused and hesitated to decide which way I have to follow in my life. I have many ways but don’t know which one to follow and best for me. The year of rotation of dentistry is about to finish after that we are supposed to work in country centres outside the city centre and from a scientific point of view it sounds that its not beneficial and may not add good experience. i want to go back to baghdad as soon as possible. the situation there is much more better than before but it may explode at any time and I don’t feel that it is the same city that I lived in from the other side keeping in mosul is not the solution because its not better than baghdad if we are talking about the security situation but I found the friends that I missed in baghdad. I began to make friends and like the people here. Most of my friends in baghdad left iraq either as refugees or to find a calm and peaceful place to work and complete their education away from terrorism.
Some of them adviced me to take the master degree abroad and I began to admit to colleges and made some contacts even with the embassies and came up with hopeful results. In my last two visits to the college of dentistry where I studied in some professors suggested me to be appointed as a junior. I have many choices and everyone got its virtues but im very confused and hesitated of what im supposed to do.

The First Post

I've tried several times to write but came up with fruitless results. I used to write in my diary but I realized later that sharing thoughts with others has a different taste and feeling of releasing the exhaust In this post I'll write about me.
I'm a dentist (fresh graduate). I lived my 23 years in baghdad and living the 24th in mosul. I moved to mosul temporarily since the beginning of violence and the deteriorated security situation.
I lived the best times in baghdad especially in baghdad college secondary school where I graduated from.
I have an obcession of electronics especially computers and communication staff, so I studied in an institute of electronics during summer holiday when I was 15. my big desire was to be an electronic engineer, but the temptation of being a dentist and keen on progress in electronics field (being creative in two fields at the same time) override.
And that is what im going to achieve, working now in a specialized dental centre as a rotator dentist and the rest of the day with computers especially in baghdad I began to make deals to fix used laptops but it’s a small business for the while time. As a rotator dentist im trying my best to get use of my seniors' experience and im planning to get the master degree this year.