Iraq Has a Chronic Illness

everytime i tried to challenge the deterioration, i was disappointed.on saturday the first patient came and her tooth was indicated for extraction,i gave her aneasthesia but the forceps and instruments were not sterilized. i stood gazing at the instuments and was very angry.there was no electricity,nor the generator,so i had to dismiss the patient and apologize for a fault that wasnt mine.
i talked to one of the employees and asked him about the generator he said "the generator is ok,and was working,the fuel is available but the battery needs to be changed". for god's sake,its been a month since i started my work and we have a 150 amp. generator with fuel not working because of a battery and we need it for sterilization,illumination,air conditioners and and and.i didnt mention other dental services because we dont offer any except extraction.
the manager deputy came and i explained what happened. he said we demanded a battery.
i felt disappointed.patiens came and i'm helpless.at that day all the patients were dismissed,some took medications.
today at work i heard that the off days were changed and the whole schedule.i was astonished,i asked my colleagues,they said "yes last week,and today is supposed to be your off" i replied "why you didnt say?". i dont know why they didnt came to agree for which day,moreover i came early today and no one told me its my off until i asked them.
on friday i decided to go on a trip for a few days,i realize now its the best time for a trip.
i need to change the routine at least for few days.
my vacation will start on tuesday,then after going back i will visit mosul.
i was about to forget to tell you that my sister came and said that many college students of engineering in al-mustansiriyah came at morning this day to the head of the university and the students union demanding to protest against the action of some military forces that entered the college and hit and drag many students, the dean was beaten and humiliated by the soldiers at the college centre. my sister wasnt sure of those informations that was loudly declard by the shouting students and they were very angry.it seems that not only the dean of the medicine college of mosul included,but in a different way.
i'm praying to end this mess.its not a life,it's just like a zoo.
from time to time i was trying to forget similar events and think of a better future but how it comes to be a good future with such events.it's been 5 years after war,and previously lived in a blockade and war after war since i was born during eightys.
i feel that im losing my time.instead of being creative and make progress, we are spending our time and efforts on living only and how to save ourselves.